Many of us have been taught to believe that our work is our value. Our work is our identity. And when you are a people pleaser, those beliefs are high bars that we continually jump toward to be accepted and loved. We do this without thinking of our needs, wants, or if it actually serves our true selves - and then wonder why we are so tired, drained and miserable.

You don’t have to be everything to everyone. You don’t have to exhaust yourself to meet everyone else’s needs. You don’t get a medal for running yourself into the ground at the expense of yourself or others.

See if you can hold compassion for the parts of you who think they need to overwork, overachieve and people please to be loved. These parts have kept you safe for probably a really long time. Ask them what it would feel like to step back and rest. What feelings come up? Take your time if it’s a lot. It takes time to figure it all out. Be kind to yourself.

Taking small steps away from trying to reach the the high bar can seem scary at first. Take it slowly, listen to your body and honor what you need. If the answer is you need to rest or take care of yourself then give yourself permission to do it. You have earned it.

If you would like someone to walk with you as you take small steps from unlearning these patterns I would love help. Reach out - I have a 3-month coaching package that will connect you back to yourself.