Asking for what you want is not needy - it’s communicating your needs

Have you ever been called needy by someone? I know I have. And wow, can that word bring the shame monster out to play!

The word “needy” is a huge gaslight-y word. It implies that having needs is negative and that if you have too many needs, then you have a big, needy problem. Gah - this is not true at all.

The truth of the matter is that we ALL have needs. There is no shame in having needs. And most importantly, it is 100% ok to communicate your needs - it doesn’t make you needy. I means you are capable of asking for what you want.

When someone calls you needy, that person is basically saying they can’t handle or know how to respond your needs - or they don’t WANT to handle or respond to your needs. It has nothing to do with you and EVERYTHING to do with them.

Keep that in mind the next time you hear someone use the word needy. And if you are the “needy” recipient, remind yourself that your needs absolutely do matter - just maybe not to the person who is reacting to you.