Elephant Bites and Turtle Steps
I would imagine that overwhelm is a key word that has described 2020 and 2021 for a lot of people. I googled the definition of overwhelm and it was, well, overwhelming: “bury or drown beneath a huge mass; defeat completely; giving too much of a thing (to someone); inundate”. Yikes. Whether it be changes in work, school, relationships - life in general - this past year plus has been vastly different than any of our expectations and how we have lived before. And it can seem and feel a lot.
As we slowly come out of the pandemic and start putting our toes back into whatever the new normal looks like, feelings of overwhelm can be common. How do we navigate all of the tasks and responsibilities we want to take care of without feeling like it’s too much?
There is an old joke that goes: How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
Yes, it’s a groaner and it’s actually also a wise bit of advice. Many times when we are feeling overwhelmed it’s like we’re facing a giant elephant for dinner (apologies to vegetarians and vegans for this metaphor). Where do you start? It’s so big that there is no way anyone can finish it, right?
The simple answer: start working on the big toe. Focus on one small part of the elephant - not the whole elephant - and slowly work your way to the end.
In other words, break down your daunting tasks into small parts - the smallest parts you can manage without having the overwhelm creep back in.
For example, say the house hasn’t been cleaned since March 2020, because of the pandemic and life. And you everyday you look at what you feel needs to be done and freeze, are filled with dread - and potentially shame - knowing you won’t start today because it is just too much. Instead of looking at the whole house, look at ONE small thing you can do today that is manageable to get you started. Maybe it’s getting the vacuum out and simply putting it in the family room. Maybe it’s dusting one room. Maybe it’s organizing the top of your desk. Maybe it’s writing down a list of parts of the house you want to clean - or even a list for cleaning one room or one corner of a room. What matters is the accomplishment of one tiny task to help you move a little bit forward to build confidence and show your brain that you don’t have to do it all at once. That small step is the big accomplishment. Then pat yourself on the back for a job well done - congrats! You showed yourself you can do it!! Repeat with another small task that is not overwhelming the next time until you you have finished what you have wanted to accomplish.
Renowned Harvard-educated life coach and author Martha Beck calls these small tasks “turtle steps:” the tiny steps that slowly move you forward to achieve what you want, without creating overwhelm and inaction. The the smaller the steps, the less scary they will seem and the chances you will accomplish what you want are greater. And give yourself compassion for where you are right now. It’s going to take some time and that’s ok.
What is one turtle step you can make today on a project or situation that seems overwhelming? What small part of the elephant can you start to work on? And after you make that step / take that bite, what can you do to reward yourself for moving forward? What is your next small step?
If you want help with your elephant or turtle steps, I would love to walk with you or have a snack. Feel free to reach out at whitney@openspacescoaching.com or or go to the Book a Session page on my website and set up an appointment. Thanks!
