What are your non-negotiables?

When we talk about boundaries, it’s important to ask ourselves what are we willing to let in and what are we not willing to let in. These can be called our non-negotiables. These are things that are so important to us, that we are willing to walk away from a situation if they are not met. Or, these are things that we require to be met to be able to be engaged in a situation.

We can have non-negotiables for work, relationships, and even for ourselves.

Sometimes coming up with a list of non-negotiables is hard - especially if we didn’t grow up in a household with a lot of boundaries, or we have been in relationships as adults where boundaries have been weak or non-existent.

Questions to ask yourself: what is one thing that is a deal-breaker for you, or one situation that you are willing to walk away from? Or, what is one thing that is absolutely important to have present in order for you to proceed?

On non-negotiable for me is authenticity.

As you are learning, it can be challenging to walk away from non-negotiable situations, or to ask for your needs to be met. And if it is important for you, your true self, your integrity and your inner child parts, see if you can give yourself small permissions. Or take a small step and imagine what it would look like if you held to your non-negotiable. There is no shame if this is difficult for you. It is a practice. It is something I am definitely still working on. Take it slow and honor yourself and your feelings.

Working on non-negotiables and boundaries is big-time self work, involving lots of stories we tell ourselves, inner child healing, working with parts and breaking free of conditioning. If you would like coaching support, please reach out.