Disappointing others and the fear of being exiled

I definitely have huge people-pleaser parts and have spent most of my life trying not to disappoint others. And wow, it can be exhausting. After doing A LOT of self work, I realized that much of my people-pleasing came from a place of deep fear - a fear of being exiled. Some of this fear was inter-generational, and some of it was based on my own personal experiences growing up. Wherever it comes from, for some of us, the need to people-please is so strong that we end up losing who we are.

We all want to be part of our families, friends, and groups we care about.  If we start to feel like we are throwing away ourselves to be a part of those groups, we end up being exhausted, miserable and resentful. Many times, by not being ourselves, we end up pushing away the connection we wanted in the first place. 

Working on building true connection with yourself and others, as well as setting boundaries, are some ways to break free from the people-pleasing cycle. It takes a lot of work and time. And being able to connect with yourself and others on a truly authentic level is energizing and totally worth it.

Reach out if you would like help with your people-pleaser parts.  I see you.