You don’t have to please the cool kids, even as an adult

I know as an adult I’ve tried more than a few times get the “cool kids” to like me. The “cool kids” are adults just like me who for some reason I have deemed to be “cooler” than myself. My high-level people-pleasing parts come roaring in and the fawning and agreeing is a sight to behold!

Have you ever been there?

When I’m curious about it, I realize that there are younger parts of me who really want me to belong and they come forward as protectors. And there is something appealing about the “cool kids” that the younger parts of me believe I lack or isn’t good enough. It’s not true, but it FEELS true at the time. Those parts want to be “good enough” to belong and they will do what it takes to make that happen. They’re actually trying to protect me, which is really a wonderful thing, but in doing so, those younger parts are also preventing me from being myself.

Having compassion for the younger parts of you who felt exiled when you were younger is a step toward healing. Working on the “not good enough” parts of you is also important. It’s not a question of “why am I not good enough.” It’s a curiosity of the story behind that thought that will bring a step closer to understanding that you are enough as you are and are pretty darn cool - with or without the “cool kids” nearby.

Reach out if you’d like to work on healing your sweet, protective inner children.