Feeling stuck and choice

A while back I was chatting with someone who felt really stuck about a social situation. She didn’t want to go to an event and risk running into a toxic ex, but at the same time also wanted to support her friend who was hosting the event. She felt conflicted, stuck and pretty miserable and pulled in all directions.

As we chatted, it became clear that not only did she feel stuck, but she also felt trapped. We talked about what options she had. She could talk with her friend ahead of time and explain the situation (she knew her friend would support her whatever her choice). She could go to the event with a supportive friend. She could decide to stay as long as she felt was best for her and leave whenever she felt uncomfortable. She could get there and change her mind and that was also ok. She could go and not acknowledge her ex or say a quick hi and move on. She could reward herself after the event in some way.

When different options and choices became clear to her, her whole body relaxed. She didn’t feel trapped or stuck anymore. She felt like she had agency over what she could decide to do. And it felt freeing. There were no “wrong” ways of going - or not going. She got to decide.💪🏼

I’ve been in that situation, too, and wow - it can feel deer-in-the-headlights scary. You can almost feel your body going into freeze when you don’t feel like you have agency or choice. And - if you can take a tiny step back, have compassion for those stuck parts, and gently ask yourself what options are available (there are usually at least two), you can then take a tiny step forward and get a little unstuck.✨

Sometimes a little coaching guidance can help you see what options you have available. If you’re stuck and are looking for compassionate support, schedule a free 45-minute coaching/getting to know us session with me.