“Perfect” holidays don’t exist

We put so many expectations on a few particular days of the year. We watch Hallmark movies and see people’s beautiful social media posts; we receive holiday cards of smiling families; we nostalgically remember what we had growing up (or didn’t have) - and the big comparison thoughts come in. We try and emulate what we think the holidays should be, based on expectations that aren’t really our own. And then we wonder why we feel sad or exhausted as we get closer and closer to celebrating.

Usually it’s because we are not connecting to our own needs and and basing our ideal holidays on what we think we should do or how they should be. What a lot of pressure to put on ourselves for a few days out of the year!

Ugh.

Holidays are messy. They can be full of families coming together with different viewpoints. They can be filled with burnt food and presents that don’t arrive on time. They can be filled with sadness and grief of losing loved ones or ending relationships. They can be lonely. They can be beautiful in their imperfection. In fact, usually it’s the times it’s not perfect when the fun and the memories are made.

If you are feeling pressure to have a perfect holiday, see if you can give yourself some space for some imperfection. If you can’t this year, that’s ok. There is no shame or perfection in this process. ;) Even observing where you are now and wondering if next year you may want to do things differently can be enough space for you now.

Even acknowledging the statement “perfect holidays don’t exist” can be enough.

Most of all, be compassionate with yourself - we are all learning and growing, even during the imperfect holiday season