Setting a New Year’s resolution is a choice, not a “have to”
This time of year we can feel pressure to set up New Year’s resolutions.
I’m not a big fan of New Year’s resolutions for a few reasons:
Setting a resolution right after the holiday season doesn’t give time or space to process what we have just experienced. There is no down time to reset or give ourselves compassion after a very busy couple of months. Giving ourselves a chance to rest and reset before moving forward is important.
Resolutions, especially centered around the New Year, seem to have a back messages that there is “something wrong with us” that needs to be “fixed” And tend to be restrictive not expansive. While getting healthier both mentally and physically is important, if the intent is to “fix” our “broken” selves, the resolution is coming from a place of shame, not of self-compassion. And shame is not a great motivator, long or short-term. And by the way, none of us are broken.
New Year’s resolutions statistically usually don’t last longer than a few months. This can be because the expectations we set for ourselves are too high; or we take big steps versus small steps to achieving what we want and then end up feeling badly and ashamed for not being able to jump through the enormous high hoops we set for ourselves. So we quit and feel worse.
Bottom line, New Year’s resolutions tend to be based on shame stories versus holding self compassion for who we are and what we truly need. Those shame stories set us up for not feeling great about ourselves
If you feel the momentum to move forward this time of year, how does it feel to set small intentions instead of big resolutions? What can you CHOOSE to do for yourself that benefits you, not shames you? How can you hold compassion for yourself? What are very small steps you can take to achieve long-lasting growth or success? How will you give yourself compassion if it doesn’t go exactly as you planned?
Be kind to yourself not only at the start of the year, but all throughout the year. You may find that a holding self-compassion for yourself, knowing you have choice and giving yourself time and space to achieve your goals will bring you more of what you are looking for.
