Some thoughts on perfectionism

When we’re trying to make something perfect, it’s usually because we’re looking for external validation, to be accepted or not get into trouble. We’ve been taught that if we make things perfect we will be safe. These are patterns we’ve been taught in the past from various types of non-equal relationships.

The thing is, perfectionism doesn’t exist and so we will always be be trying for something we can never achieve. It’s EXHAUSTING. And many times, we’ve had this pattern for so long, we don’t realize that we’re not trying to achieve perfection for ourselves - we’re doing it for others. Guess what? You can choose not to do that anymore. You can choose to do what is enough for you.

Ask yourself:
- Who am I trying to make this perfect for?
- What will happen if it’s not perfect?
- What age to I feel as I’m trying to make this perfect?
- What would I tell a friend who was feeling something needs to be perfect? Can you offer that same support to myself?
- What do I need for myself right now? How can I provide myself what I need?

The above questions will give you insight to where your thoughts are coming from and how you can best support yourself.

Un-attaching yourself from perfectionism is a process. It takes time and lots of self-compassion. And…er…it’s not perfect. Eek! Small steps are the way forward. And it can be a gentle road to learning to love and accept yourself - how cool is that?

Are you looking for someone to support you as you learn to break free from perfectionism and move toward the things you truly want in life? Let’s work together. I see you and can give you compassionate support as you move forward. You can do this!✨