Thoughts for 2023

Thoughts as 2023 approaches.✨

For me, 2022 was a mix of the amazing and the very stressful.

I got to climb mountains, meet amazing people, make new friends, travel. I learned more about authentic connection and trusting myself and my intuition. I did some deep and difficult emotional work. I navigated some very difficult external family situations. I learned to let go a little more.

I learned that it’s ok to believe in my own inner strength. That it’s ok to look truth in the eye. That honesty and authenticity are gifts. That self-compassion and love for my inner kiddos is beautiful self-kindness. I’m learning what’s fun for me.
I’m grateful and am privileged to have learned from, connected with and and walked beside my amazing clients.

I’m taking all of the above with me into 2023 and letting go or having as much compassion for my self-doubt as I can. I’m leaving behind the gaslighting I had been conditioned for years to believe and used on myself.

Every year brings new challenges and joys and I’m looking forward to continue to learn, shed, grieve, celebrate and grow in 2023. ✨

How do answer theses questions? What comes up for you?

I am scheduling coaching sessions and packages for 2023. Reach out. I’d love to work with you.💛

Trees

This time of year without fail I feel compelled to draw trees. I love and am drawn to trees and their shapes, especially in winter. This time when I drew, I decided to quick journal on what words trees bring up for me:

Abundance, life, growth, hibernation, rebirth, shed, transform, create.

And after reading the list, it all made sense why trees are so close to my heart.💛

Are there objects in nature or other places that you’re naturally drawn to? Quick: what words come to mind when you think about that object. Write them down. Do the words give you any insight about yourself?

This exercise is kind of fun party trick into your self. If you feel like it, let me know what it reveals for you in the comments.

I’m booking coaching sessions and packages for the new year. I’d love to work with you!

A few reminders

• It’s ok to take some time for yourself

• It’s ok to go slow

• It’s ok to say no

• It doesn’t have to be perfect - it can be enough

• Other people’s moods are not your responsibility

• You don’t have to do it all

• It’s ok to ask for help

• You get to rest and play, too

• Find something you love to do and do it - for you

Traditions, acceptance, grief and change

Ever since my kids were little, I’ve baked a “snow” cake to celebrate the first snow of the season. It’s a simple bundt cake, but over time it’s become a tradition in our house that celebrates snow and winter - and cake!!😊

My youngest went off to college this year, so this cake has taken on a different meaning, at least for me. They’re both home for the holidays, so when it snowed last night, I was excited to get up and bake this cake. There won’t be many more times we get to have this tradition together. So, there’s a little grief there this time because of the impending changes ahead, and also a sweetness that this will always be a part of our lives and memory.

Traditions are comforting and also fluid as families change and grow. It’s ok to have space for the grief and joy that happens during these when we want to hold on and also let go.

Do you have traditions like this that have similar feelings? How do you balance the feelings associated with what was, what is, and what will be? Let me know in the comments💛

Intentions for the holiday season

I love to bake and every holiday season I usually make dozens and dozens of cookies and pies for my family and friends as gifts. And although I love to bake, I’m usually thoroughly exhausted after this baking frenzy. The story I’ve told myself in the past is that it all “has” to be done within a few days or I’m doing it “wrong.” That I’m “failing” baking for friends and family if I don’t get it done by a certain time. So, I’ve often rushed to get it done and seen it as a task - not as something that brings me joy and fun for myself. (If you guessed I’m a recovering perfectionist and people-pleaser, ring a bell! ;)

This year I’ve changed it up, and the main change has to do with the intention of going slow. The intention to bake only one thing a day, not several things over hours and hours. The intention to be fully present as I’m mixing ingredients, shaping the dough, smelling the flour, sugar, vanilla and chocolate, and cleaning up as the goodies bake in the oven. The intention to rest afterwards and celebrate what I’ve done. The intention to believe that I am enough no matter how much I bake and that my friends and family will be be thrilled with whatever I choose to share. That I am not selfish for taking care of myself. Taking small, slow, intentional steps that work for me.

These set intentions have caused me to look at this holiday season in a different way. I can choose intentionally to slow down and be present in a way that works for me. And in doing so, savor the big and small moments. Slowing down and resting with self-compassion allows me to look around and choose.

If there’s something you enjoy doing over the holidays, but also feel like it’s a lot, what stories are you telling yourself about it? How can you intentionally and slowly break it down so you feel less rushed or less pressure? What can you choose for yourself this holiday season?

That buzzy, crunchy feeling

Anyone out there having that buzzy, crunchy feeling of emerging from a place that no longer fits? That feeling of slowly coming out of hiding and having the courage to face your authenticity? The feeling of being on the edge of strength that allows you to be seen and heard for who you are without apology?

Is there anything holding you back from taking the next step? How can you best support yourself to get there?

This phase can feel exciting and unsure at the same time. Be kind with yourself. There’s no rush. Continue to take small, nurturing steps toward yourself and your dreams. You’ve got this. ✨

Your brain and body deserve rest and play

Deep, long sigh. Your brain and body deserve to rest and play.

You get to make time for rest and play.

What’s one small thing you can do today that’s restful or playful? Comment below if you have ideas.✨

Transformation=Grief and Grief=Transformation

A little coaching mathematical equation today. And I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling both of these pretty hard recently. 💛

Transformation and grief go hand-in-hand: it’s very difficult to have one without the other.

As you shed your layers and move toward yourself, it makes sense that you grieve what you’re leaving behind - even if it no longer serves you.

On the other side, processing grief allows for transformation to happen. Grieving creates space for transformation.

Our culture puts so many rules around grief, like it’s a bad or shameful thing. And it’s not. Without grief, it’s hard to move forward. We need grief to transform.

So, let yourself grieve whatever you need to grieve - big or small. And don’t feel badly if you are in the process of making big changes and are grieving what you are leaving behind. Even if it wasn’t right for you. It’s all part of evolving into you. 💛

Processing grief can mean trusting that you will be there for yourself

Sometimes grief can feel scary and lonely, especially when you are grieving deeply. Because as you grieve, you’re also letting go and transforming into the next version of yourself.

That involves a lot of self-trust because as you grieve you’re also lovingly holding yourself and being present for you and your feelings. Grieving can be an act of enormous self-love.

Trusting yourself, loving yourself and knowing that you will be there for you on the other side of what your grieving is a powerful part of grief that you often don’t see until you’ve processed the deep, hard stuff. And yet, there you are, ready to hold your hand and walk forward.💛

If you are grieving, I see you. Be kind to yourself. You are loved.💛

Simplify - Slow - Small Steps

This time of year can feel like a lot. If it starts feeling overwhelming remember that you don’t have to be or do it all. It’s ok to:

❄️Simplify - scale back and focus on the activities you truly enjoy.

❄️Slow - there is not a rush to the holiday finish line. Take your time and be as present as you can. Remember to take time and breaks for yourself.

❄️Small steps - When it feels overwhelming, see if you can break down what you’re doing into small steps that feel safe and less stressful.

You don’t have to do it all. It’s ok to take care of yourself over the holidays. Taking care of yourself is a gift, too. ❄️✨

If you are looking for guidance and support over the holiday season, give yourself the gift of life coaching.

Pets are family

Three years ago today we welcomed Barney into our family. Barney was rescue dog and he became a member of our family the moment we met him. He’s a big, goofy goober of a dog and we love him dearly.

Pets can bring so much joy, love and support to our lives. Studies have shown that pets are good for our mental and physical health. They are love bugs and connectors and love unconditionally.

If you have a pet or pets, how have they added to your life? How do you support each other? What is it about them that brings you joy?

Give your pet a pet today 🐾❤️

It’s time to reclaim your intuition

Yep, it’s time.✨ Your intuition has always been there and will always be there- and it’s often buried in conditioning, gaslighting, people pleasing, trauma and more. There is absolutely no shame about this. A lot of times we ignore intuition because we feel we don’t have a choice. And you can only work with where you are. You make sense.

And…you can start reclaiming your intuition now in small steps. Listen to and be mindful of that voice inside. Take small steps toward awareness of what your body is telling you. And when you do, don’t immediately push thoughts or feelings away. Take a small moment to see, hear and feel what’s going on. You don’t have to do anything right now except simply acknowledge. You’re building a muscle back to you. Be as self-compassionate and kind as you can. 💛✨

Reclaiming your intuition takes time as you build self-trust. This is part of what I help clients do. If you’d like gentle, compassionate support as you build and reclaim your intuition, sign up for my coaching package or a session. More info is in my bio. I’d love to support and help you reclaim you.💛✨💛

Choose to no longer abandon yourself

We abandon ourselves for many different reasons - social and patriarchal conditioning, people pleasing, loose boundaries, trauma, and more. There is absolutely no shame as to why this happens - it all makes sense in the context of your life.

And you can start taking small steps to reclaim yourself. Small steps to rediscover what truly lights you up. Small steps to show yourself that you have your back. Small steps to feel into what you really want and need. Small steps toward YOU.

Even saying this post out loud to yourself is a small step forward. What comes up when you read it out loud? Just simply being mindful of what you experience is enough to take a step closer to yourself and say hello. 😊

As a life coach, this is my work - compassionately supporting you as you move slowly back to yourself.

Living in your present can be very different than your past

Gatherings with family and the holiday season in general can sometimes bring out your younger self. It can feel like you’ve traveled back in a time or are repeating patterns that sometimes didn’t feel so great.

If you start feeling this way, gently remind yourself and your younger parts that you’re no longer in those places. Remind and show them that you’re in the present and it’s different. Remind yourself that it makes sense why you’re feeling this way and it’s ok to set a boundary, take some space away and take care of yourself to reorient. And if that seems difficult to do, that’s ok. Simply holding space for how you’re feeling and noticing you’ve stepped back in time can be enough. Remind yourself that the present is waiting for you. You matter.

Grief and gratefulness can co-exist

• You can grieve what you wish you could have had and be grateful you don’t have it.

• You can grieve what doesn’t serve you anymore and be grateful you learned what does.

• You can grieve people, places and things you’ve left behind and feel grateful they’re no longer a part of your life.

Grief and gratefulness can coexist. You can grieve and and feel grateful at the same time. It can allow you to see the whole spectrum of where you’ve been and where you are now. And it’s all ok and part of the process of healing, learning and moving forward. 💛

Give yourself permission to….

• Say no when you don’t want to do something

• Say yes when you do

• Take a break when you’re feeling overwhelmed

• Take a break just because

• Release the should’s and have-to’s

• Grieve what you wish could be

• Accept and embrace what is

• Know that you and your needs matter

• Feel joy for taking care of your needs

There is no such thing as celebrating something small

Got out of bed today? Woo hoo! Made yourself dinner? Heck yeah!! Sent that email? You go!! Rested? Ta da!! Pet your dog? Yesssssss!

There are no rules about what makes a celebration.

You get to celebrate the things that matter to YOU!

Do a happy dance, a fist pump, jazz hands, a shoulder shake. Let your body and your mind know you’re so worth it.✨✨

Try it today and see if there’s a shift.

Congratulations for being YOU!! 🎉🎉🎉

Work with me and let’s celebrate and focus on YOU!! Check out my offerings in my bio link or website ✨💛✨

You can love others and still create loving space

Sometimes as you grow and figure out more of what works for you in life, things, people or situations that worked for you the past may not anymore. They may feel stifling or you may even feel like they are preventing you from moving forward. But you also feel torn because you have history and love with these people, things or situations and it almost feels like a betrayal to change it up or create space.

Here’s some validation that you CAN create loving space. It doesn’t mean you love them any less. It means you love them AND yourself to create healthy change within and between the space.

Relationships, situations and things evolve over time. You evolve, too. You can grieve and love at same time. You can create space and love at the same time. In fact, grieving while also creating space can be one of the most loving things you do - especially for yourself. It’s ok to love and respect yourself and your needs and create space - and still carry love.💛✨

Setting and maintaining boundaries is an evolving practice

A few days ago I was reminded of how boundaries evolve a with a good friend of mine. We’ve been friends for a long time and as our lives and roles have evolved with each other and beyond, we realized there were some boundary leaks between us. Thankfully, we have a really good friendship and we were able to chat about the situation to figure out where the boundary leaks were. We made a plan for how we could set our personal boundaries and at the same time honor each other’s boundaries and friendship going forward. Hooray us!

It doesn’t always work that way. A lot of times in friendships and relationships you don’t get to have those discussions. AND you can still set boundaries that honor your needs and wants without having to do that.

Occasional “boundary checks” can be a really helpful relationship maintenance. Remember, you get to decide what works best for you. And if you start feeling overwhelmed or resentful in a relationship, a “boundary check” may be what you need.

Want to build your boundary muscles? Schedule a free 30-minute introductory coaching session - or check out the self-paced course I offer about healthy boundaries over the holidays.

The word abundance has the word “dance” in it. The word lack just has “ack.”

I would much rather dance and feel abundant than ack with lack! 😉 And that can be much easier said than done. We can have lack thoughts and beliefs based on family and personal history that cause us to worry about our past and future and feel that lack pretty intensely. And sometimes those lack beliefs can overshadow the abundance we have in front of us right now.

I recently decided to take an abundance inventory. This not only included financial stuff, but also personal and emotional abundance like friends and family, areas of safety and what lights me up. Doing that allowed me to see how much all-around abundance I had. And I celebrated with a little happy dance! 💃🏽✨

This doesn’t mean bypass financial issues or ignore responsibilities. You can be responsible, work on areas that need attention AND have abundance. It’s not all or nothing. 💛

Where do you dance in abundance?